What is the “Mental Load”?
The mental load refers to the invisible work that goes into managing our daily lives, including planning, organizing, remembering important details, to anticipating other’s needs.
An example is planning a family vacation. It’s not just about booking the flights and hotel – there’s also researching and choosing the destination, planning the itinerary, packing, and coordinating with everyone involved. And even after all that work, you might still be the one responsible for remembering to pack important items or making sure everyone is on schedule and dealing with the whining!
While the mental load is often invisible, it can lead to burnout and stress, which is why it is important to find ways to manage it. By acknowledging the mental load and taking steps to manage it, we can create a more balanced and fulfilling life for ourselves and those around us. While the mental load is often associated with women and mothers, it can affect anyone who is responsible for managing multiple tasks and responsibilities.
The impact of modern technology on the mental load
Modern technology has a significant impact on our mental load, adding to the day-today responsibilities we already face. Social media, emails, and text messages are just a few examples of the constant flow of information and communication that demand our attention daily.
While these tools can be helpful, they can also make the mental load worse. For example, we might feel compelled to respond to messages and emails instantly or check our social medial feeds regularly to stay up-to date. Moreover, the unending stream of information can make it challenging to disconnect and take a break.
This all contributes to an increased mental load, leading to feelings of overwhelm and burnout. It is crucial to understand the impact of technology on our mental well-being and find ways to manage it effectively.
In upcoming blog posts, I will explore the impact of technology on our mental load and share meaningful strategies to navigate the avalanche of information and interruptions. By being intentional about our technology use and managing the mental load, we can create a more balanced and fulfilling life for ourselves and those around us.
I am deeply passionate about this topic and believe that tackling the mental load is a crucial first step towards mindful living. I am on this journey myself, and while it takes work, every step towards balance is a step in the right direction.
A holistic view of the Mental Load
The mental load is typically defined as the cognitive effort required to manage household tasks and family responsibilities. It encompasses everything that needs to be done and the mental energy needed to keep track of it all, including grocery shopping, laundry, cleaning, cooking, childcare, as well as scheduling appointments and social engagements.
However, the mental load extends beyond traditional household tasks. For working mothers, it also includes the cognitive load of managing a demanding career, navigating office politics, and meeting deadlines. It requires mental effort to switch between work and home responsibilities, prioritize tasks, and ensure nothing falls through the cracks.
As we enter a post-pandemic world, many of us have adopted flexible work arrangements, allowing us to split our time between home and office. However, this has also increased the mental load for many of us. Additional scheduling requirements and the challenges of distinguishing between work and home when the workplace is at home have created more demands. For example, while we have the luxury of attending a school assembly during work hours, it requires additional logistical arrangements and making up for lost time later.
Don’t get me wrong; I am delighted to have the opportunity to fit more into my day or week, but the flip side is that there is more to juggle, and there are fewer hours in the day. In our quest for flexibility, have we placed additional demands on ourselves to do it all? As the saying goes, “with every cloud, there is a silver lining,” but equally, with every silver lining, there is a cloud.
Why discussing the Mental Load is important to me
The genesis of this blog came from conversations with fellow mums, who like me, were trying to manage the daily chaos of work, family and household tasks. We often discussed the challenges of this “juggle”, but few of us had the time or energy to explore ways to alleviate the mental load.
My interest in productivity started in my professional life, where I have a demanding job and a large portfolio to manage. To work smarter, not harder, I started listening to productivity podcasts, reading books on time management, and using apps like “to-do-ist” and “motion” to organize my tasks. I started implementing strategies at work and at home. I saw positive results, but also experienced setbacks . I learned that the mental load is always present, and finding balance is an ongoing process.
During conversations with my female peers, I felt a strong desire to help others navigate the mental load. I knew that the tips and strategies I had learned could not be shared in a brief school gate conversation. After much reflection, I created “Beyond the Mental Load” for women like me, working moms who are doing their best to manage it all. My journey continues, but I believe that every step forward is a step in the right direction.
In this blog, I go beyond the traditional definition of the Mental Load. Although I reference working mums frequently, it’s because that’s my reality and experience, and I want to stay authentic to that.
However, I’m not always a “working mum”; sometimes, I’m entirely a mum, and other times, I’m solely an executive. In both these worlds, I’m burdened by those “invisible tasks” that distract me from my priorities. Whether it’s an email alert about Joey’s soccer training or a request for a “quick question” from a colleague, both can be a source of mental stress without the right processes in place. You’ll see this distinction in my posts: sometimes, it’s all about being a mom; other times, it’s all about getting the paid job done! In this way, I hope my blog will relate to a broader group of people, notwithstanding that my perspective is that of a working mom.
I also understand the significant impacts that the burden of a too-heavy mental load can have. It can lead to stress, anxiety, and burnout, as well as decreased productivity and effectiveness both at work and at home. It can also have an impact on relationships, as the constant juggling of responsibilities can leave little time or energy for meaningful connection with partners, friends, and family members.
When I look around at my friends, I see how stretched and strained they are. I hear the hope for a better future in phrases like “when the kids are older” or “I just need to get through to the end of the year” or, in my case, “I just need to get through netball season!” This is not okay. We all deserve to live in the moment and mindfully, and not allow the burden of a mental load to place an unnecessary pause on our lives. We only have one life, and it’s worth living! The more we’re distracted by the mental load, the further we get from the things that are truly important.
Move beyond the mental load
The mental load can be incredibly challenging due to the continuous stream of requests and demands. Whether it’s a child needing homework help, a boss requesting a report by day end, or a friend wanting to meet up for coffee, the demands can seem never-ending. This can be particularly overwhelming for working mothers who are often expected to take on the primary caregiving and household management responsibilities.
Dealing with the mental load can be a daunting task. In this blog, I will be sharing the strategies that I have personally adopted and found to be effective, as well as those that did not work for me. My focus will be on practical steps that anyone can take, regardless of their financial means.
Many people suggest “outsourcing” as the number one solution for alleviating the mental load. While this advice comes from well-meaning mentors, it is often impractical for those who cannot afford it. This is especially true in the current economic climate, where outsourcing is even less attractive as a solution.
In this blog, I will explore the use of technology, delegation, setting boundaries, and learning to say “no”. These strategies do not require any financial commitment on your part. I won’t be promoting “outsourcing” (such as hiring a cleaner) as a solution, as this only takes a chore off your to-do list. Instead, I want to equip you with the skills to minimize the noise of the mental load, allowing you to free up space in your mind and prioritize the things that matter most to you.
Fill your bucket
I want to leave you with this image of two friends filling their Easter Egg buckets, symbolizing my dream for a community of empowered women. Imagine waking up each day with an empty bucket, excited to fill it with things that bring joy and fulfillment. Instead of being overwhelmed by endless tasks, we have the freedom to choose what goes in. We can take control of our bucket and prioritize what’s important, and get those sneaky, unpleasant tasks out of the way quickly. Our bucket is like our brain, with limited capacity, so let’s fill it with things that bring us joy, just like an Easter egg hunt. With the right tools and mindset, we can create a fulfilling and sustainable life, with an empty bucket at the end of the day, ready for a fresh start tomorrow.
Where to from here?
the mental load can feel overwhelming, but its not insurmountable. Let’s journey beyond it and empower ourselves to free up cognitive space to achieve more.
To all the working moms out there, prioritize your mental health and well-being. Seek support when needed, set boundaries, and delegate tasks. Remember that you’re capable of achieving great things, both at work and at home.
Please comment on my blog, subscribe to my newsletter and come back from time to time to check out my blog posts. I hope you will find some useful strategies to help you on your journey. The mental load is always present, but it doesn’t have to hold you back.
